Saving Her
by bonechick3
Summary: Something happens after Jesse shuts her out, something neither one of them expected, and it changes everything. (I am really horrible at summaries, but the story is a lot better.) Rated M just in case.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**As usual I own no part of pitch perfect, this idea just wouldn't go away! Enjoy guys…warning, it's not the happiest story I have written.**

The music blasted through my headphones as I rushed across the quad, trying to force myself through another day. Every day seemed to be this way now; lonely, boring…it was like all purpose was gone without her to share it with.

Her. Beca. From the moment I saw her I knew she was the one. She was perfect, amazing, everything I have ever wanted. The only problem, she didn't want me back. All she ever did was push me away, and it hurt. It fucking hurt like hell and I just can't do it anymore.

I continued the trek back to my dorm, trying to force myself to think of anything but her and the last time she was near me. I had slammed the door in her face. Not my usual way of acting but she just doesn't get it! I can't just be friends with her anymore when all I want to do is tell her I love her. Being around her, seeing her face is just too hard when I know I'll never be able to call her mine.

Instinctually, I look to my right at the spot I have officially dubbed as "Beca's Tree," although I'm not really sure whether I want to see her there or not. Every time I walk past this spot I look over, and generally she has her headphones on and is working on something amazing.

Yup, there she is, sitting in the shade with her eyes closed, facing my direction. What the hell? Why does she look like she's in pain? Looking closer I realize something is very wrong and my heart stops. She's covered in bruises, deep purple bruises that only come from having the crap beat out of you. What happened to her?

My mind is warring with itself as I stare at her, taking in her broken form and the fact that she's in her pajamas…the Beca I know would never leave her room like this. Still, she doesn't want me to be there. She told me to back off and that's what I have done.

I can't walk away though, I feel myself being drawn in closer and I can't help the gasp that escapes my lips as I see tears running down her face. She's crying? That's it; the war ends abruptly as I hear her sobbing. It doesn't matter if she wants me or not, it doesn't matter if she is never going to see me as more than a friend. Right now she needs me, and I am not going to just walk away from this.

Rushing to her side quickly, I kneel in front of her and reach to pull her towards me, longing to comfort her. She flinches away and my heart stops. Why am I doing this?

"What do you want Jesse?" She angrily wipes at the tears streaming down her face and fights back a groan as she presses on the tender flesh. "Didn't you say you were done?"

In my defense, when I'm angry I'm not always the best person. Grabbing her hand, I force her to look at me, everything I am feeling forcing its way out with my words. "What do I want?" The battle over getting pissed off is being lost fast as I press on. "Really Beca? I want to know why you look like a punching bag! I want you to let me in!"

She flinches away and backs herself against the tree and my heart stops. Is she afraid of me? She can't think I would-

My thoughts are cut off as she turns her face up to me, her voice hard. "You want to know why I look like a punching bag?" Her eyes flash and she stands up, gripping her hip in pain. "It's your fault you bastard!"

What? How the hell is this my fault? I sure as hell didn't do this…

"I don't know huh? I DON'T KNOW?!" She is yelling at me now and I can't help but be a little scared for my personal safety. "You think I don't know why you were upset, why you wouldn't call me back? I know Jesse." I stand up, shock on my face. What? "I was coming to tell you I loved you!"

My eyes grew wide and I took a step towards her, wanting nothing more than to pull her into my arms. "Bec-"

"No! No Swanson. You don't get to speak yet." She backs up a little further and glares at me. "If you had let me finish you would know that I don't know why, or I didn't know why, I push people away…but it wasn't the same with you. You were in. I wanted this…I wanted you." Tears were streaming down her cheeks and I reached my hand out, begging her to take it even as the tears streamed down mine.

"Beca please, what happened to you?" It came out so quietly I wasn't even sure she had heard me at first. What had happened? She loves me? No…she said loved…but that was only a week ago. I really need to know what happened.

The terror filled me at the thought that I had blown my one chance of getting the girl I love. Would she accept my apology? Would she let me in again now that I shut her out? Oh God, please…PLEASE don't let this be the end.

"What happened to me?" Her voice was rising again and she clutched her arms around her protectively. "Luke happened!" My gasp was probably heard across the quad but it didn't matter. Luke? Luke did this?

"I went into the station in the hopes that I could have a quiet place to cry, away from everyone." She took a deep breath, looking into my eyes and showing me how much pain she was really in. "He showed up and he told me he would make me forget about you…I think he was drunk? Maybe high?"

I felt like I was going to throw up as my mind wrapped itself around what she was saying. Praying that I was just jumping to conclusions, I waited for her to continue. "He…he forced me against the desk and tore my pants off, beating me any time I tried to scream or begged him to stop." I stepped forward again, pulling her into my arms as she broke down.

My mind was racing. First, I needed to help her. I had to show her that I love her too, and that I will never push her away again. Then…well then Luke was going to wish for death and then I was going to make sure he never showed his face around here again.

"Jesse…he…he r-" I cut her off. I couldn't bear to hear the word.

"Shhh Bec, I know. I'm here. I won't let him hurt you again." I kissed her hair and just held her for a moment. "I love you Beca, and I am so sorry. I will never let anyone hurt you again." She pushed herself away from me, more tears coming as her anger came back.

"Don't say that!" Her eyes were hard and she was shaking now, breaking apart in front of me. "Don't you dare say that. I loved you!" I flinched at the past tense and tried not to let my heart shatter again.

"You can't possibly love me now. You can't possibly want me anymore, or want to stay. It doesn't matter what I felt or feel, you couldn't possibly love me now."

I felt the anger boil in my stomach. Can't love her? Can't stay? It doesn't matter? Who the hell does she think she is? "Beca Anne Mitchel." Her eyes narrow at my use of her full name and I take a step towards her, my voice dangerously low. "Don't you EVER tell me what I can and cannot feel."

Trying to keep my anger in check, I force the pain back down. She's hurting; she feels broken…I don't need to add to that.

"If I tell you I love you, and I am not leaving, I mean it. That is not something I throw around lightly." I take a deep breath as she stares intensely into my eyes. "Beca, Luke is a bastard, and he hurt you…and I hurt you. I shouldn't have closed the door on you. I should have chased after you…hell I should have gone to my shift at the station." I groaned, realizing in that moment the many ways I could have stopped this.

"But Bec, I love you. I have since I first met you and you can't change that. No matter what you do, I will always be here loving you." She's sobbing again and I crush her back into my arms, mindful of her bruises. "Do you understand?"

I feel her nod against my chest and I can't help the sigh of relief that leaves me. I am seriously going to kill Luke. Who the fuck does he think he is to hurt her like that? Not my Beca. I can't help the guilt that rises to the surface. If I had just listened to her…none of this would have happened.

"Jess?" I look down and see her eyes. Finally, no more tears. "It hurts. Can we maybe go watch a movie?" Smiling down at her, I pick her up bridal style and walk back to my dorm room, thankful that Benji is gone for now. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want him to see her like this.

"Hey Bec? Have you been to a doctor?" I cringe as I feel her clutch tighter to me. Shit…why can't I be better at this? Maybe I should just stop asking questions…

"Yeah…they did a rape kit…and some other tests." Her head is burrowed into my chest and I have never seen her so vulnerable. "I'll have to go back tomorrow for the results." Kissing her hair, I walk us back to my room quickly, taking her in and putting her on the bed.

"You sure you want a movie? We could just sleep if you want to." I watch her visibly relax into my pillow and I can't help but smile. Sleep it is. Eventually the movies would continue but not today.

Sliding in next to her, I pull her to me and wrap my arms around her. "You're safe Becs. Nothing is going to hurt you."

"I know." Her breath fans across my neck and I stifle the groan it causes. Now is not the time for any of that.

"What are we doing Beca?" Even though I'm trying to keep the pain out of my voice, I'm pretty sure I'm not successful.

"Jesse…I," My heart constricts as I prepare myself for the worst possible thing she could say, tears forming in my eyes. "I can't ask you to, I shouldn't want…you deserve so much more than-"

I kiss her hair and tilt her face to look at mine. "Why don't you let me decide what I deserve, and please…PLEASE want." I wipe the tears from her eyes again, staring into them and trying to show her everything I feel. "I love you so much Becs."

Her lips turn up into a smile and I can't help the way my heart soars as she places a kiss above my heart, tugging herself just that much closer. "I love you too Jess."

I'm on cloud nine, and for a moment I let myself forget. Crashing my lips to hers before I even realize it, I feel her wrap her arms around me and deepen the kiss, tangling her fingers into my hair.

My thoughts rush back to me quickly and I pull back, knowing she isn't ready for that yet. If we move past this right now, she will regret it forever. I kiss her nose and tuck her back into my chest, holding her protectively as I listen to her breath even out, relaxing against my pillows with her in my arms. "Sleep now My Heart, I will never let you go again."

**So what do you think? I know, it's another new one…but I have to get some of these ideas out of my head or the others aren't going to go anywhere. :P I really like this one, although it is exceptionally emotional. Broken Beca is really never fun to write, but this just wouldn't go away. Thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_**The amount of trouble I have had with this story is mind boggling, but it's worth it. I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I do, even though it is definitely emotional. As usual, I don't own the characters, only my plot line. If I did, there would already be another movie, and does anyone else think that Beca and Jesse should have had a song together at some point? I think it would have been awesome!**_

"Where is she?" I can't help but stare at my door, waiting anxiously for her to get back from the clinic. Apparently she had to go get the results to the testing they had done. My hands clench as I think about everything she has been through and I just wish I knew how to help her more. I thought she would be back by now…

As I sit, lost to my thoughts, I don't even hear the door open or notice as she comes to stand in front of me, something clutched in her hand and her face drained of all color.

"Jesse?" Her voice sounded so small as she pointedly looked away from me, examining the details in the wall of my dorm room. Last night had been bittersweet for both of us, and it wasn't hard to see how hard of a time she was having with the envelope in her hand.

"Beca, everything is going to be alright okay?" Pulling her toward me, I took the offending item from her hand and just wrapped my arms around her. Her voice is muffled as she tells me they gave her all but one of her results in the office, all of them good so far. Apparently, and I really can't help the anger flowing through me as she tells me this, they don't verbally give the results of HIV testing. How dumb is that?

Now my strong, resilient, hard-ass Beca is reduced to a shaking mess. The girl I have always known could do anything can't even open the stupid thing, because what it says could change her life forever. Her tears are soaking through my shirt and I know I need to be strong here. I have to step up and help her through this, no matter what happens.

Reaching for the letter, I kiss her hair and tear the stupid thing open, letting the words flow soft and sure out of my mouth.

_Miss Mitchell,_

_On March 15__th__ we saw you here in our office to test for HIV/AIDS. It is my pleasure to inform you that your test results have come back negative. _

_Thank you,_

_Barden University Clinical_

I feel her arms wrap around me and I can't help the joy running through my heart as I pull her in closer. I notice that a page with more specific data is behind the initial letter, but I just set that aside for now, placing a kiss to her forehead.

"Thank God!" As she relaxes against me, it feels like one less problem we need to face, one less hurdle we need to jump over. I sit down quickly on my bed, pulling her down onto my lap and rocking her back and forth as she lets the emotions out of her system.

This is good. Hell, this is great! "Oh Beca," I feel like spinning her around, but I know she won't appreciate that. Just because the tests are good doesn't mean she isn't in pain or anything.

She looks up at me and I see a fear in her eyes, something I don't quite understand. Why isn't she excited right now? What's wrong? She's shaking and I just wish I could make it right again. Not for the first time, I mentally beat the crap out of myself for not protecting her.

"Jess…" her eyes are glazed over and I realize exactly how terrified she is right now. "We can't do this." My heart lurches as she tries to stand up quickly. What? No! I hold her firmly to me, a look of horror on my face.

"Beca-" A tear slips down her cheek as she cuts me off with a quick shake of her head. "No Jesse, we really can't. I'm sorry…you'll hate me, you don't understand. You can't understand how much you don't want this…"

Anger boils in my stomach again and I place my hand over her mouth, effectively stopping that stupid line of thinking again. I thought we discussed this yesterday? "Beca stop it. I decide what I feel and what I want remember?" She nods but I still don't move my hand. "Now, I'm going to let you speak here in a second, but you aren't going to try to run away again…just tell me why you think I could possibly hate you, which I never could by the way."

Her eyes are so full of pain, but I lower my hand, wrapping it back around her tightly. "Not everything I heard today was good." She turns her head away again and I let her. Whatever it takes for her to speak again right? "The doctor says I…the damage to my system was…Jesse I can't…Jesus okay!" She's rambling and I really don't understand where she is going with this. Grasping her chin gently, I tilt her face back to mine.

"Beca? I know I'm amazing and all but not even I could follow that." I grin as I see her roll her eyes with a smirk. Yes! I was able to get some kind of happy from her, even if it was only for a moment. She takes a deep breath and stares into my eyes, searching for something.

"The doctor says my system has suffered too much damage from what _HE_ did…I will never be able to have kids. Like ever. I know that you want a family, I know that's important to you, so before this even starts to kind of go anywhere…" the tears are falling down her face as I look at her in shock.

What? He took…she thinks I…Jesus Christ I need to fix this. "Beca look at me." Her eyes are stubbornly turned to my chest and I can't help the annoyance going through my system. Really? "Now Mitchel, I mean it." Grasping her chin again, I force her to stare into my eyes, praying she sees everything I'm feeling.

"I'm not going anywhere. Sure," I shrug my shoulders and smile softly, "kids are awesome and it would be great to have some someday, but you know what?" She just shakes her head and I can't help but think about how adorable she is right now. "I love you. Kids don't make that any more or any less, and there are other ways. Surrogates, adoption, trying anyway…and if we don't have them that's alright too."

She's staring at me in confusion and I realize she can't wrap her head around that. "Beca, I'm nowhere near ready to think about having children, I'm 19 years old. Someday, I will want that with you but not yet. Someday we will decide if we want to have any, but a family…that's you and me."

Burying her head in my chest again, I feel her tears begin to soak my shirt. Most everything about the last couple of days sucks…except for the fact that I have the girl I love in my arms, and she doesn't want to be anywhere else.

"What about aca-children being inevitable?" It takes everything in me not to burst out laughing at her comment…really? I know she is serious and all but…really?

"Aca-children or no, I love you and I'm not going anywhere." As I lay back against my pillows, I tuck her into my side and begin to sing softly, praying she understands what I'm telling her. I know she's really broken right now, but it hurts so much when she tells me I can't love her.

_When I look into your eyes  
It's like watching the night sky  
Or a beautiful sunrise  
Well, there's so much they hold  
And just like them old stars  
I see that you've come so far  
To be right where you are  
How old is your soul?_

Well, I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space  
To do some navigating  
I'll be here patiently waiting  
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn  
Some even fall to the earth  
We've got a lot to learn  
God knows we're worth it  
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily  
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make  
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use  
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake  
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend  
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn  
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in  
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am

I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up, still looking up.

Well, I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)  
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)  
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)  
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up

My voice trails off as her breathing evens out. Good. She really needs the sleep. Looking over at her, I can't help but focus in on all of the bruises spread across every spot of open skin. Still, these are nothing to how she is feeling on the inside. What did I let happen to her?

I let my own tears fall as I realize exactly what I have done to her. By shutting her out, I broke her. I let Luke hurt her. I didn't protect her and all of this should be on me. My heart is shattered but I tug her that much closer.

Whispering softly, I let myself stroke her hair gently. "I am so sorry Becs. I love you, and I will never let something hurt you again. I failed you, but never again." My hatred for myself just keeps growing as her words play through my mind again.

"_You want to know why I look like a fucking punching bag? It's your fault you bastard!_"

Closing my eyes I know she was right, and I just wish I knew how to fix it.

Beca's POV

As I lay in his arms, I can't help but relax. He's not going to leave; he's not going to walk away…even though everything seems to be falling apart. Why does he love me?

I let my breathing calm and just zone for a while, thinking about how much I wish I could find a way to thank him. He's just…Jesse.

"I failed you…" his words tear at my heart and I have no idea how to fix the pain I can hear in his voice. It's not his fault, I know I said it was…but I was just in pain. It's Luke's fault. He did this, and he is definitely going to pay.

Turning over to face him, I let my hand reach up and cup his cheek, drawing his alarmed eyes to mine. Did he think I was asleep or something? "No you didn't. You aren't." He moves like he's going to interrupt but I just shake my head. "Jess, this is not your fault, its Luke's."

_**There it is! Finally! This chapter has been jumbling itself in my brain since the first one came out. I am sorry that it took so long, but it just wouldn't come right, no matter how many times I tried. This though, this I love, and it flows exactly how I need it to into where the next chapter is going. What did you all think about it? This song is I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz. In all honesty, I had no intention to put a song in this chapter, but it came across my Pandora while I was writing and so earned a place. I love you all. :D**_


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